Infinite, oh my.
January has flown by.
I’m a year older, my little one is year old and I’m already feeling like she’s growing up too fast for me to catch up too, but at the same time I’m also trying to convince my mental age that what I’m feeling is not a mid life crisis, just mommy blues haha.
My lover and my bestfriend is still by my side after a very long, slow, tiring, stressful, “Iwanttofuckingleaveyouafterallthisshitisover” kind of year. I love him more because he loves me still when I’m a monster claiming he’s a moron. All in all who knew a marriage was really like this game of hide and seek. He hides his emotions and I hide absolutely nothing so someday we might just grow up and figure out whose seeking who exactly. Thank you God, for hearing me whine, moan, and cry about the man you sent me, because I know in the end you were right to send him to me to love, cherish, to have and to hold, for better or for worse. I know after almost three years and all of this grief he’s still the man I want to make love too and to cook for and conspire with and get up to all kinds mischief with. & it helps we make beautiful silly babies haha.
Piece by piece I think I’m puzzling my mind back together from past heartbreaks. I chalk it up to being too tired to feel anything left over. So I say adios to you and yours and wish you all a happy life as long as your not in mine. It’s been real but I need those pockets of my mind back and you need…well whatever you need you won’t find it with me.
February, has come close to its end in my mind. It’s May up there and I don’t know whyyyyy *singing. I feel like there will be more, so much more, just in the morning instead of the middle of the night like I’m having this special love affair with the keys of my Mac letting them be caressed by my fingertips forgetting that soon I’ll be awake to the cry and rain of drool upon my face by none other then the beautiful little one. So I must put this sensual love affair of my keys on hold, like foreplay and let it all “come” with some morning sunshine. *pun intended :)
